What do I say?

I enjoy writing my thoughts, it's helping me to release things inside. My love ones are asking me "How are you doing" and I dont know what to say? I'm tired of expressing or sharing the negative, but thing are negative right now. I dont want to lie, because Ive seen lately what lying does to relationships. I love and trust my love ones, and need them more than ever now. I feel the angels watching over me more then ever, and I have gotten so close to the Holy Spirit. So, here's what happening to me. The Father is answering my prayers. He making a new me, not that the old one was bad, but HE making me better, and my love ones will be proud. He also showing me my love ones! So I guess I will just say " Im being blessed during this test".

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It just hit me!! WOW

The tides are finally starting to change.  I've been thinking a lot about my life and the choices I've made  I don't want to repeat the mistakes of the past.  I've always had this weird need to say I have a best friend, but no one seem to want the job...hahaha.  I guess the desire comes from my lonely childhood.  A person that would love you unconditionally, have your best interested at heart, someone who takes up your cause, but includes you in their life.  A lot of people would say that this may be your wife, but I don't feel that way.  I Think when you get married, she become a part of you and versa it totally a different relationship in my head.  I do hope that someday I meet her too.  In the valley of life that I'm temporary in, you can see clearly so many things.  One night last week I was laying on the beach in Waikiki, with a tropical breeze and a local hotel's band playing Hawaiian music in the background, and as I was talking to Jesus, when it hit me like a bolt of lightening.  I've had a best friend all my life! then it flashed again before my eyes.....yes I've had the same best friend since the age of 4.   WOW, I began to cry, all these emotions began to flow in me.  Jesus said he would go to the Father and ask him to send us a comforter, a best friend, a friend that would stick closer than a brother, this very person helping me now.  I can't began to tell you what the Father is doing in my life, but you will see one day soon, and as I lay here in a hostel, between a crack house and meth house thinking about just one year ago I had a three bedroom house, I hear my friend Jackie, say keep looking forward, and while fear pokes its head in ever once in a while my little brother Brent will always call to check on me, but last week when my Mom toldbme I was her best friend, that give me the courage to fight on, so I can make them proud of me again.  I am so truly blessed by love! Something good is coming my friends!

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Naive or just plan Stupid!

Am I naive or just stupid? With all the poor decision I've made in the last four years. I realized today that it’s mainly because of me being naive! Jesus said to put my trust in him, for the most part I did, but I also put too much trust in men. So where has it all gotten me? Going through hell in paradise...hahaha. The funniest thing is while I’m in this valley, (that's what I call it); I see so many beautiful things. Like my true friends, like a father on a bus protecting his daughter as she lays her head on his lap. I even remember in my darkest hour in Austin Texas I had the opportunity to interview a sweet homeless couple at starbuck. I fine it funny how they ended up ministering to me, the word of God. Right now I am very unhappy, but content, stupid or Naïve? The Father is doing something in my life, because I've asked him too. Now I must listen to the advice I gave my little brother a few weeks ago, to just sit back and listen! And as the Holy Spirit speaks to me I will remain naive.
Speaking of Austin Texas. It wasn’t all bad, I had a beautiful home for a while, I loved my radio show, and for a while was really happy, but I can tell you I was so so so naïve, but the cool thing is I don’t regret the good things that were done.

A lesson well learned!

This weekend I learned a big big lesson. The young man I wrote about last week is beginning his journey thru the USA. He seem very concern about being in LA for 2 days alone before he picked up a tour going around California.  I called on a girl in LA,  a new friend from Chile. I met her in Hawaii a few months earlier, she was meeting her cousin from Chile to travel the islands of Hawaii, she was friendly caring and very beautiful. So I called her in LA to see if she could take care of my new friend on Saturday so he would not be alone. She was excited and just when I thought how good things were going until I got this bad vibe around 7pm Saturday night, so I called my friends hotel several times until midnight in Cali, no answer. I called the security to check his room, no one was inside. I called her phone several times phone but it was turned off. Another Swedish guy in my room called my friends phone, he answered. When I told him who was calling, he just said " I'm so high" my heart stopped, and my head filled with all these bad thoughts, but there was more, he didn't know were he was, just that it was a boat. I became so angry I started to shake, As my friend began to ask where he was, I could hear in the background, Marina del ray and too hang up the phone,  so I had my young friend put Nicole on the phone.  I came un-glued, telling her she had 45mins to get him to his hotel or I would call the authorities. What's wrong with people? even she sounded drugged out of mind.After calling a cop friend of mine in LA, he told me my young would also be arrested if I called the cops, so I just prayed he arrived back to his hotel, which he did. The lesson  me is not interfere with people's chosen life journey. . Footnote; My childhood best friend died in a drug related situation in the same city my angel unaware was staying.  I couldn't sleep all night.  God is good, and I pray my young friend is safe, and back on his chosen journey.

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Eyes wide open

I met this very nice lady on the bus today. She was homeless and going to a job interview. As I sat watching her put on her make up on, it hit me. It was so important for her to look her best, no matter how tough her life, or situation. I watched her changed from a tired looking, down in the dumps person, into a fifth avenue business women, in a 45min bus ride. Hope and pray she gets the Job.

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An Angels unaware

Have you ever entertained an Angel? It's that someome that comes into your life for a short period, but has a profounding affect. A few days ago the Lord sent an Angel into my life to help me avoid getting depressed. David from Sweden is traveling around the world. He arrived a few days ago from Bali. He has help me to laugh and smile again. Im meeting people from all over the world , with the most interesting stories. I pray the Lord to send me more angels, because they care. Have a safe trip to LA, MIA, and NYC before going home my Friend, David. Be safe .Hebrews 13.2

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Life is a battle

Life is a battle.

I fine it fitting to be sitting here at The Pearl Harbor memorial writing this part of my blog. A friend told me last year that I was under a spiritual attack, and yes it was a surprise, that nearly took me out, just like the first and surprise attack on December 7th 1941 Pearl. Then the second wave hit, I was a little bit more prepare, but it seem to cripple me none the less so, as I stand here today, trusting the Lord daily for everything, even a place to live, just like the US pacific fleet I too shall rise again, rebuilt and stronger than ever.

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